A Simple Trick for Staying Calm During Holiday Family Time

Kerry here. 🙂

The holiday season brings extended family time, which can spark both joy and stress. With kids out of school and celebrations ahead, these mixed emotions are perfectly normal.

Here’s a strategy for staying calm during challenging family moments:

When my son Palmer was 15, his morning grumpiness would often affect our entire family’s mood. I found myself carrying his teenage angst to work, where I needed to be focused and present. That’s when I realized I needed to separate my well-being from his emotional state.

This simple but powerful mantra helped me stop the habit of riding the waves of a teenager’s emotions: “The mood of my 15-year-old is not the source of my well-being.”

Did I care about his mood? Of course. Did I want him to be happy? Absolutely. But I recognized that my core well-being comes from something deeper – my heart, meaning, and soul.

As we approach the winter break and holidays we’ve worked hard to prepare for, we might need similar reminders:

  • “My children’s behavior is not the source of my well-being.”
  • “My family’s opinions are not the source of my well-being.”
  • “The perfection of our celebrations does not define who I am.”

While these situations may affect us and sometimes require our attention, they don’t determine our inner peace. Disentangling ourselves from others’ thoughts and actions helps us maintain our calm center.

I wish you peace on the inside.

Have a wonderful holiday!

Kerry and Palmer

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