A Simple Trick for Staying Calm During Holiday Family Time
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A Simple Trick for Staying Calm During Holiday Family Time

Kerry Stutzman

Kerry here. :-)

The holiday season brings extended family time, which can spark both joy and stress — and if you're looking for a simple trick for staying calm during holiday family time, this one has genuinely helped me. With kids out of school and celebrations ahead, these mixed emotions are perfectly normal.

Here's a strategy for staying calm during challenging family moments:

When my son Palmer was 15, his morning grumpiness would often affect our entire family's mood. I found myself carrying his teenage angst to work, where I needed to be focused and present. That's when I realized I needed to separate my well-being from his emotional state.

This simple but powerful mantra helped me stop the habit of riding the waves of a teenager's emotions: "The mood of my 15-year-old is not the source of my well-being."

Did I care about his mood? Of course. Did I want him to be happy? Absolutely. But I recognized that my core well-being comes from something deeper – my heart, meaning, and soul.

As we approach the winter break and holidays we've worked hard to prepare for, we might need similar reminders for staying calm and emotionally grounded:

  • "My children's behavior is not the source of my well-being."
  • "My family's opinions are not the source of my well-being."
  • "The perfection of our celebrations does not define who I am."

While these situations may affect us and sometimes require our attention, they don't determine our inner peace. Disentangling ourselves from others' thoughts and actions helps us maintain our calm center. For more on surviving the holidays with your sanity intact, these 8 tips for holiday parenting are a great companion read.

I wish you peace on the inside.

Have a wonderful holiday!

Kerry and Palmer