From all us kids…mom, we wouldn’t be here without you 🤍

Palmer here! 😊

In case it hasn’t been said yet Happy Mother’s Day to you! 

If you aren’t a mom here is a reminder to love on the moms you know. I know that not everyone’s mom is here to love on so I want to acknowledge how hard that can be. It’s something my wife and I have had to adjust to these last few years since we lost her beautiful mom. For those of you whose moms are no longer with us I hope you are able to create some space to remember and honor them in your own way.

I demand to do the Mother’s Day email because I have realized now on the other side of being a little monster child that moms are not just chore enforcers trying to ruin kids’ lives. Instead, they actually are one of the most important and special things we ever have in our lives and every one of them deserves to be reminded of that. 

(this one of my mom’s favorite photos from 2016)

As many of you might know, to put it gently, the relationship I had with my mom had its ups and downs growing up. Now being here at 26 I feel an honor and responsibility to share a few thoughts that I believe every mother deserves to hear.

A message to my own mother that I hope all moms can hear:

Where would I be without you? It’s not a place I ever want to go. I’ve replayed many life events, and without you, it would have been BAD. The image that comes to mind is us being in a horrible storm where everything is ripping and pulling at me trying to smash me around but there you are, holding my hand, taking blow after blow and still anchoring me to safety. I gave you EVERY reason to quit, and no one would have blamed you. Never as a teen did I think you would now be a dear friend to me. Honestly, it got so bad that I didn’t even know if I’d ever speak to you. So again I am so grateful and honored you stuck with it and did what you needed to be able to hold on to me and keep me from getting pulled away.

Did my mom always do a perfect job of sharing her love with me? No. Did I always see and appreciate her love? Of courseNOT. I think she would fight me if I claimed I showed appreciation even 10% of the time. For the majority of my teenage years, I would ever so politely take the love she was sending me, smash it into a ball, cover it in crap, and proceed to throw it in her face. I wasn’t winning any awards 🙃

If your kids are anything like me, I doubt they are thanking you every day and counting their lucky stars you are in their life. One day, they will look back and recognize all the amazing sacrifices, love, and support you gave them… but in the meantime, I wanted to take a moment and share how amazing I think each and every one of you moms are. The love you are pouring into your kids is not for nothing. You may just have to wait for a delivery period of 5-15 years before they even give you a nod of appreciation. It’s far from the Amazon Prime delivery I know my mom would have liked. But I urge you to not stop showing up!

(this is my mom losing at wrestling…sorry mom😅)

Without you moms, I don’t know where we kids would be. We need you to not love logically, but keep pulling from that place deep down that sometimes feels like it’s dried up. Myself and all the other kids out there rely on that special love you have. If I didn’t have my mom in my life showing up for me back when I was a teenager and wanted nothing to do with her…I very well may not have been here today. Her love…your love…can make all the difference in the adults your kids become.

So when your kid takes the love and support you give them and throws it right back in your face (like I did as a teenager), hold fast, and remind yourself that you are doing the most important job in the world. I promise you that your effort to love may end up making all the difference in who they become.

Happy mothers day and I will be sending you lots of love and appreciation today 😊

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Kerry Stutzman MSW, LMFT

My passion is helping my clients develop close, connected families and healthy relationships. For the past 20 years I have been helping people discover the best version of themselves.  Learn more

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