The way kids talk to themselves has MASSIVE ramifications for the kind of adults they become. How do parents set up their kid’s internal dialogue for success?
Here’s the tricky part: a big part of what shapes their inner voice comes from you. For many of us, we might not be as intentional with our own thoughts as we want our kids to be. Talking kindly to ourselves is easier said than done! Whether you’re a self-talk guru or wondering, “Self-talk what?”—there’s always room for growth.
So, let me ask: What do you say in your head or out loud when someone cuts you off in traffic? When you forget something? After yelling at your kid? How do you talk about your day or your friends to others?
Kids are sponges, constantly absorbing how we see the world. It really is “monkey see, monkey do.” In therapy, I work with a dad and his son who struggle with negativity and conflict. The dad didn’t understand why his son was so negative, but after reflecting on his own self-talk and inner dialogue about the world, he saw that his son was mirroring his own worldview. Recognizing this connection, the dad has been working hard to shift his inner dialogue—and while it’s not easy to rewire 50 years of thinking, he knows the stakes are high.
Whether you already do it or not, this week, I challenge you to tune into how you view the world, what you say to yourself, and what you say out loud. Whether they know it or not, your kids are still watching and learning from you. Don’t worry about doing it perfectly, the goal is just to improve bit by bit.
