Here are tried-and-true parenting tips to manage sibling bickering during those long summer days.
1. The Bicker Jar
A Bicker Jar can be a lifesaver when siblings start arguing. Each time my kids bicker, they draw a slip from our Bicker Jar. Slips contain a mix of chores and fun, like scrubbing baseboards, pushing their little brother on the swing, or drawing a picture of what they like about their family. The surprise factor keeps it interesting—kids never know if they’ll be cleaning or playing a game like Chutes & Ladders with their sibling.
2. Back-to-Back Timeout
A mom I know has her kids sit back-to-back until they can agree on what happened and take responsibility. While this approach may not work for every family, especially with rough-and-tumble siblings, it’s effective for milder-mannered kids who respond to reflective time together.
3. Teaching Kids to Make Amends
Making amends is a powerful tool in sibling conflict resolution. When siblings mess up, help them “clean up” the relationship by doing something kind for each other, like helping with a chore, drawing a picture, or playing a favorite game. Imagine how strong relationships would be if we all practiced this approach!
4. Setting a Zero-Tolerance Policy
Choose one behavior—like name-calling or physical aggression—to make zero-tolerance in your household. Enforce a consistent consequence whenever that behavior occurs, helping kids understand that some actions will always have boundaries. Consistent follow-through is key.
5. Focus on Positive Behavior
Instead of saying, “No more fighting,” specify positive actions like “use kind words” or “keep hands to self.” Use a timer, and for each period of positive behavior, add something to a reward jar or give a star on a chart. This approach encourages positive reinforcement and helps kids earn rewards through good behavior.
6. Talk It Out
Helping kids work through conflicts can be challenging but rewarding. Teach them to say, “When you ____, I felt ____.” Encourage listening and ownership of mistakes by having them say, “Next time, I’ll ____.” Model honesty by sharing your own mistakes to show that everyone has room to improve.
When parenting feels overwhelming, remember that you’re not alone. Summertime parenting can be both joyful and intense, so reach out for support when needed—whether it’s a friend, family member, or therapist. I’m also here to provide tips and reality checks; creating happy, harmonious families is my passion.
