A mother’s love isn’t always logical.

My mom (Kerry) treasures this photo because when I (Palmer) was 15, I spent much more time glaring at her than smiling for pictures with her.

Palmer here! This email is in celebration of those extra special rockstars we call mothers. I wanted to write this one because, as you probably know by now, I had an interesting relationship with my mom growing up. Now being where I am at age 25, I have a number of thoughts I hope all moms can have a chance to hear.

First a note to my mom…Where would I be without you? It’s certainly not a place I would want to be. I know that without you I would never have made it. I’ve played it back in my head many times and it never looks good…so mom, thank you. I will never be able to say it enough but thank you.

Most of the time when I work with families, it’s the moms I talk to. I get to see a very loving and oftentimes worried side of moms. Worried because they love their kids so dearly and want them so badly to believe in themselves and see all the amazing things that you (the moms) do for them. Not that you always will do things right, but you have this special reserve of love for your kids that goes unmatched by anything else.

When I think back on my teenage years, I see the countless times my mom poured out love on me. Sometimes it was in the form of a sandwich with the crust cut off and sliced into four strips for lunch, sometimes as a little note in my backpack, sometimes as the worried mom who stayed up when I was late for curfew, and sometimes as the mom who marched into my room and declared I was grounded for doing who knows what. It all came from a place of love and wanting to make sure I was okay and able to live a full and long life.

Did she always do a perfect job of sharing that love with me? No. Did I always see and appreciate her love? Of course…NOT. I think she would fight me if I claimed to have shown appreciation even 10% of the time. For the VAST majority of my teenage years, I would politely take the love she was sending me, smash it into a ball, cover it in mud, and proceed to throw it in her face. So nice of me. ?

Now, I look back in awe. How could someone continue to fight for me and pour into me even when I was not giving her an inch? Wouldn’t it be logical for her to just walk away and take care of the other 87 things going on in her life? That’s just it; a mother’s love isn’t always logical. It actually can be a bit crazy at times…where does that courage come from to keep showing up?

If your kids are anything like me, I doubt they are thanking you every day and counting their lucky stars you are in their life. One day they will look back and recognize all the amazing sacrifices and love and support you gave them… but in the meantime, I wanted to take a moment and share how amazing I think each and every one of you moms is. The love you are pouring into your kids is not for nothing. You may just have to wait for a delivery period of 5-15 years before they even give you a nod of appreciation. But DON’T STOP!

Without you moms, I don’t know where we kids would be. We need you to not love logically and keep drawing from that place deep within. I, and all the other kids out there, rely on that special love you have. If I didn’t have my mom in my life showing up for me back when I was a teenager and wanted nothing to do with her… I very well may not be here today. Her love…your love…can make all the difference in the adults your kids become.

So when your kid takes the love and support you give them and throws it right back in your face (like I did as a teenager), hold fast and remind yourself that you are doing the most important job in the world. I promise you that your effort to love may make all the difference in who they become.

My mom and I wish you a very Happy Mother’s Day!! What you are doing matters, regardless of whether or not your kids realize it just yet.


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Kerry Stutzman MSW, LMFT

My passion is helping my clients develop close, connected families and healthy relationships. For the past 20 years I have been helping people discover the best version of themselves.  Learn more

Brett King LPCC NCC, MFT

My specialty is couples therapy with parents. I also have expertise in parenting, betrayal recovery, and addiction.  Learn more

Amy Cobb - Parent Coach

Amy Cobb MS Family/Human Development

I specialize in working with parents and caregivers with children from cradle to college, with special focus from birth – 10 years old. Learn more

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