Who is teaching who?

Oh my gosh, I think I’ve got it all wrong!

My “why” that gets me and up working every day is to help parents be the best version of themselves so their children get to grow up in secure, loving homes. It’s all about the parents serving the children well. Or so I thought.

But this thinking might be upside down.

We do so much for our kids.
We sacrifice and they don’t see it.
We serve and take care of them and they take it for granted.
We give and do and spend and they want more.

But what if……What if the joke’s on us?

What if instead of US being their wise teachers, providers, and nurturers, they are OURS? What if they are our teachers, here to grow us up?

In a parenting presentation, I show this video clip narrated by Will Smith about the metamorphosis process of a caterpillar. I tell parents to think of their ‘tweens and teens’ brains turning into “goo” in the process of maturation. But what if the joke is on us and it is OUR brains going through the “goo” process as we are squeezed and pushed and pulled through parenthood?

Don’t you think the version of you who will emerge from parenthood is going to be a better version than the one who went into it? A little worn out, maybe, but still better?

I’m convinced: parents end up being better humans because of the act of raising children. (Especially those who take action to study, learn and evolve…)

“Parenting opens us up to a much experienced but little talked about spiritual journey; it is about elation and exhaustion, wonderment and wondering, and the discovery that parenting is a spiritual path that “raises” the souls of both parent and child in often unexpected ways.”

Nancy Fuchs, author of Our Share of Night, Our Share of Morning

Oh my gosh, I think I’ve got it all wrong!

My “why” that gets me and up working every day is to help parents be the best version of themselves so their children get to grow up in secure, loving homes. It’s all about the parents serving the children well. Or so I thought.

But this thinking might be upside down.

We do so much for our kids.
We sacrifice and they don’t see it.
We serve and take care of them and they take it for granted.
We give and do and spend and they want more.

But what if……What if the joke’s on us?

What if instead of US being their wise teachers, providers, and nurturers, they are OURS? What if they are our teachers, here to grow us up?

In a parenting presentation, I show this video clip narrated by Will Smith about the metamorphosis process of a caterpillar. I tell parents to think of their ‘tweens and teens’ brains turning into “goo” in the process of maturation. But what if the joke is on us and it is OUR brains going through the “goo” process as we are squeezed and pushed and pulled through parenthood?

“Parenting opens us up to a much experienced but little talked about spiritual journey; it is about elation and exhaustion, wonderment and wondering, and the discovery that parenting is a spiritual path that “raises” the souls of both parent and child in often unexpected ways.”

Nancy Fuchs, author of Our Share of Night, Our Share of Morning

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Kerry Stutzman MSW, LMFT

My passion is helping my clients develop close, connected families and healthy relationships. For the past 20 years I have been helping people discover the best version of themselves.  Learn more

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My specialty is couples therapy with parents. I also have expertise in parenting, betrayal recovery, and addiction.  Learn more

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Amy Cobb MS Family/Human Development

I specialize in working with parents and caregivers with children from cradle to college, with special focus from birth – 10 years old. Learn more

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