Reclaiming Myself to Bring out the Best in Your Kids

“Losing myself” and “reclaiming myself.”

These are the four words I jotted in my journal recently while pondering my 10,000th day of mothering.

I remembered a journal entry from one frustrating morning when my oldest two sons were one and four:

“I’ve lost an important part of myself. I love my little boys with all of my being and I love being a full-time mom. But before I was a mom, I focused so much on my spiritual growth. Classes, church, quiet time, sweat lodges, loads of reading. Now I don’t. I’ve lost time to do that. I miss that part of me. I don’t feel quite whole without it.”

It took quite a while, but eventually, I realized my children are best off if they are raised by a parent who is fully alive, a whole human being. Filled up on the inside. Being a depleted, irritable martyr does my kids no favors.

Reclaiming Myself

As a result of that inner itching to reclaim the spiritual part of my life, I started a “spirituality group” with others. We met regularly for years. Yes, it meant I was away from my kids for a few hours here and there. But it also meant that my little boys had a mom who felt more whole and more fully alive. (Disclaimer: I was still depleted and irritable plenty of times! But starting that group upped the minutes in a day that I felt more alive.)

What part of yourself needs more life breathed into it?
What is one step you can take to give your kids a parent who feels more alive?

(Will you please reply and tell me? I’ll cheer you on!)

My work and my joy is helping parents reclaim themselves so that they feel healthy, whole, and fully alive. When we are full of life, we radiate that to our children which gives them permission to be fully alive.

 We stop stuffing and numbing. We acknowledge and feel all our feelings.  Having access to all of our feelings helps us be more present and more full of life.

If you feel something rising in you that longs to come to life, I hope you listen…. and then do something to breathe life into that fullness.


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Kerry Stutzman MSW, LMFT

My passion is helping my clients develop close, connected families and healthy relationships. For the past 20 years I have been helping people discover the best version of themselves.  Learn more

Brett King LPCC NCC, MFT

My specialty is couples therapy with parents. I also have expertise in parenting, betrayal recovery, and addiction.  Learn more

Debbie Bassett MA, LPCC, MFTC

My focus includes trauma, attachment, anxiety, depression, and relational work; including a focus on children and teens, parents, and couples.  Learn more

Amy Cobb - Parent Coach

Amy Cobb MS Family/Human Development

I specialize in working with parents and caregivers with children from cradle to college, with special focus from birth – 10 years old. Learn more

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