The biggest mistake is thinking we have time

When you shuffle the deck of cards for your life, which ones pop to the top? Every human being has his/her own story. But one thing is common in all of us, and that is thinking we have time!

Since the day my first son was born, the cards most commonly played in my life were:

  • Responsible
  • Protector
  • Nurturer
  • Hard worker
  • Connector

I lived for my motherhood chapter. When that season arrived, I dove in fully. I loved it. It suited me. I was also profoundly challenged by it. Then as the season of daily, active mothering wound down, I mourned. There was a new season around the corner and I wasn’t sure I would like it.

Lo and behold, this new season is so much fun! I’m living semi-nomadically in an RV, building The Moms Group, and discovering my middle-aged self. I’m delighted in having boundaries, trusting myself to honor my feelings, and enjoying not being a pushover, finally.

Nothing is permanent in this world except change

I reshuffled my deck and different cards rose to the top:

  • Adventurer
  • Nature girl
  • Introvert
  • Minimalist

I had been worried that so many years of “responsible and protector” might have snuffed out “adventure girl.” But lo and behold (again!), when the seasons of my life changed, some fun cards popped back to the top!

A girl enjoying at the beach and the sunset

If we are lucky, there are many seasons of life. Just like we don’t get dealt every card in the deck with each round, we don’t have to “do it all” in every season of our life. We can’t, frankly.
Which cards are in the hand you are playing during this season of your life?

I wish you don’t repeat the mistake of “thinking we have time”

Whatever season you are in, may you learn how to be in it, at this moment, as fully as possible.
All things come to pass. We can’t stop time. We can’t speed it up. But we can be here now.

I hear people lament that time goes so fast. I recently had lunch with an older woman. When I mentioned that she’ll be 85 this fall, she burst into tears! With the saddest expression on her face, she said, How did the time go so fast??”

The ONLY thing I know of to avoid wondering where the time went, is to be in it right here, right now. In the muck, in the joy, in the mess, or in the imperfection. Every season has its challenges and every season has its joy.

Children playing in water without worrying and thinking we have time

A True life example

One of my favorite young moms just wrote to me, celebrating the peace that even in the muckiest of times, she can find “points of joy,” like her 5-year-old’s excitement about wearing two(!!) layers of Spiderman costumes and her 1-year-old’s belly laugh. While she navigates the “muck,” she honors that there is always, always, joy if she looks for it.

Tell me about yourself. What season are you in? What are the struggles? And what are the joy points? I’d really love to hear!

What if, at every stage, you have been enough, just as you are, and all you have to do is be here now?


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Kerry Stutzman MSW, LMFT

My passion is helping my clients develop close, connected families and healthy relationships. For the past 20 years I have been helping people discover the best version of themselves.  Learn more

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My specialty is couples therapy with parents. I also have expertise in parenting, betrayal recovery, and addiction.  Learn more

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My focus includes trauma, attachment, anxiety, depression, and relational work; including a focus on children and teens, parents, and couples.  Learn more

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Amy Cobb MS Family/Human Development

I specialize in working with parents and caregivers with children from cradle to college, with special focus from birth – 10 years old. Learn more

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