To Feel or Not to Feel?

But not this year. This year I feel reverential down to my bones for Memorial Day.

Several boys I’ve known since they were toddlers are in the military.

I’m the mom of a first responder and know that at any moment, I could lose my beloved son as he serves and protects.

As a therapist, I see firsthand the wounds to our soldiers’ mental health. It’s heartbreaking to witness up close the personal price that some of our military personnel pay for their service.

Basically, I’m a hot mess with all my feelings about what is happening in the world right now. So much to be furious about, so much to be heartbroken over, so much cause for worry.

At the same time, there is goodness in people everywhere when I look up close. As a therapist who has a close-up view of people’s families, I see so much dedication, love, sacrifice, and caring in my clients and readers.

It can feel a little crazy-making with the whiplash of emotion throughout the day as I bounce back and forth between the news and the up-close version of people’s lives.

Please hear me when I say this:

Feeling all of the feelings, including the ones that are wildly contradictory to one another, is an essential part of feeling fully alive. It’s not crazy. It’s normal. It’s a gift that we are capable of feeling the full spectrum of emotions. Mad and happy. Sad and grateful. Yes, they can and do go together.

This Memorial Day weekend, I invite you to feel the full spectrum of what it is to be fully alive by doing a Flow of Feelings. Whether you say it out loud to a friend or journal it for yourself, try going through this list. No long explanations or rambling, just feelings. It can feel good. It can be incredibly connecting to do with someone close to you.

In the video below, I give an example of walking through eight different feelings using a model created by Dr. Laurel Mellin.