A (joyous, painful) Valentine’s Day I Will Never Forget

My Childbirth Story

Child Birth Story

Valentine’s Day when I was 32 was my most memorable Valentine’s Day ever. I spent it pacing halls, phenomenally uncomfortable. I did a lot of waiting. My project (labor) was going well and then lagged; I was sorely disappointed. I went about it a different way, trying to force the issue. Still no luck.

It subjected me to pain that was so unbearable that I yelled, and I wasn’t much of a yeller. Then I got even more bad news; things were not going well. I cried with disappointment. I had to accept a route to my end goal that I was not happy about. My loved ones were there but there was nothing they could do.

Even so, I was glad they were with me, bearing witness to my journey. At the last minute, before I had to surrender to a path not wanted, they advised me to try one more time. I gave it my all. 100%. Eighteen minutes later, my second son took his first breath.

He was bruised and looked battered, but he was beautiful to me. This 10-pound, overdue baby boy had been in such a wonky position that the nurses called it a miracle that he entered the delivery room instead of on the operating table.

Pain. Discomfort. Disappointment. Surrender to a path not chosen. Altogether sum up my childbirth story. I did it voluntarily, willing to endure whatever it took to give my baby a safe entrance to the world.

The Journey of Parenting

And so it goes with parenting: sometimes there is pain, discomfort, disappointment, and surrender. We go through it voluntarily, willing to endure whatever it takes to give our children the best life possible. Along the way, our hearts expand into something more beautiful than we knew was possible.

I wish you the happiest of Valentine’s Day tomorrow. If you are reading this, it tells me you are dedicated enough to your child’s well-being. Therefore, you have done a google search or taken a parenting class or gone to a parenting lecture, or done therapy.

Your heart is big, and you take action for the love of your children. Show some love to your own sweet, loving heart. Just the way you show love to your people.

Do you have any Valentine’s traditions that you love? If you share your childbirth story with me today, I’ll pass them on tomorrow via my Instagram channel.


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Kerry Stutzman MSW, LMFT

My passion is helping my clients develop close, connected families and healthy relationships. For the past 20 years I have been helping people discover the best version of themselves.  Learn more

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My specialty is couples therapy with parents. I also have expertise in parenting, betrayal recovery, and addiction.  Learn more

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My focus includes trauma, attachment, anxiety, depression, and relational work; including a focus on children and teens, parents, and couples.  Learn more

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Amy Cobb MS Family/Human Development

I specialize in working with parents and caregivers with children from cradle to college, with special focus from birth – 10 years old. Learn more

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