For years, my children have unknowingly starred in a drama I call Kerry’s Fantasies—a story in which my kids are happy, well-adjusted, and always smiling. In these imagined moments, like “Easter morning,” they wake up excitedly, ready to hunt for eggs, delighted with each candy find.
Some years, my children have cooperated nicely with my little storyline. But one year, my two older boys were anything but cooperative. They bickered over who found which egg first, argued about whose basket was better, and generally didn’t “follow the script.” I felt frustrated by their ungrateful attitudes, annoyed they didn’t act according to my vision. I snapped a photo of the chaos: one son pulling his brother’s shirt while the other grimaced and shouted. At the time, I thought it would be a funny reminder of their orneriness one day. But that photo taught me something unexpected.
Over time, I realized that kids will be kids—they won’t change their behavior just because it’s a holiday. Some days will be happy and smooth, while others will be filled with sibling squabbles. The lesson I took from that Easter morning is this: it’s better to show up each day ready to accept my children as they are, rather than expecting them to act a certain way because it’s a “special day.”
Letting go of parenting expectations has brought more peace to our family. Instead of holding them to my invisible script, I aim to appreciate them as they are in each moment. My sons may not always behave perfectly, but embracing their real personalities has helped me enjoy this journey so much more.
